My own research involved interviews with women and men over a four year period one topic often covered was sex and sexual activity. The trouble with surveys is that the questions tend to be skewed by undeclared assumptions. When women reflected on what they sought in sex, it was clear that reaching orgasm wasn't always their goal. And, if men have little respect for the casual partner, then the activity itself degrades social norms of mutual – and self – regard. It shows that men have relatively low standards for one night partner selection, casting doubt on whether women should get a spike in morale from being chosen. Survey data shows that women get a raw deal in terms of pleasure: they are less likely to reach orgasm in casual sex than in a committed relationship. Negotiating the promise and pitfalls of casual sex is a serious business for many single women and men.

The “zipless fuck' presents spontaneous and impersonal casual sex as an image of liberation: “The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. And, with the subsiding ecstasy, your partner melted away, freeing you both from embarrassment and commitment.įor many men and women, this is the promise of a one-night stand. Yet a memorable counter offensive was launched more than 40 years ago when Erica Jong, in her novel Fear of Flying, celebrated a female fantasy where “zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff'. The stereotype of a one-night stand is a brutally selfish, egoistically satisfied male, and a woman shamed by regret and disappointment.

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